Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
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