i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Houston, we have a blender
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
