I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
