Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
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