Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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