Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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