and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
