My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Randomize
