At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
