i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
He did a backflip because drugs
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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