He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
