She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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