We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
