I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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