Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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