you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
