I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
