pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Barsexuality is the new black.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize