I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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