Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
we made out on top of his cat.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
