Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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