They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
