i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
We got so high we made milksteak
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
