My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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