do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
