Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
so let's talk penis.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize