that's an acceptable place to lick
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
