What a fucking waste of an outfit
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
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