Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
is this the sara with the beer cane?
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
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