Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
