Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Watching her eat just hurts me
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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