It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
