I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
