he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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