Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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