Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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