Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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