dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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