Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
My vagina just clenched in fear
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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