i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
No subtext here. People are naked.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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