I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Randomize
