Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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