She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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