doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
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