the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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