If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize