4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
