Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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