OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
