Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
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