Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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