so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Are we still banned from the library?
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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