Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
