am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
