Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I have fence marks all over my body
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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