He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
