I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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