no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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